Well, it's something that each person will see differently, but I don't see how "retard" is so different from "idiot" or "fool," which both originally meant the same thing. I wouldn't use it to insult someone who's actually mentally disabled, in fact, I wouldn't insult someone who's actually mentally disabled at all. But as an insult for an average-intelligence-or-so person who does something really stupid, or even something not human at all "That new law is so retarded" it does make a certain kind of sense. It's hyperbole.
Maybe at the end of the day it comes down to that it makes sense to me as a negative thing to call someone/something because I do think that being retarded is something of an undesirable state--nothing against those who are already there, more, if you had a choice to stay as you are or become retarded, which would you choose? If you were having a child, and it could be of average to above-average intelligence, or retarded, which would you choose? If that makes me an ableist then...I can live with that.
I can understand and respect if some people don't want to use certain words. Like, I don't generally use "gay" in the pejorative sense, as in, "Dude, this class is gay, let's skip it," but I know people who do, and aren't homophobic or trying to malign gay people, and I'm fine with that. I don't challenge them on their use of the word, because I don't think they're doing any harm.
In general, I don't try to control how other people use words. That isn't how language works. Slang tends to change every few years anyway, and it's offensive more often than not. The very nature of slang is to be fresh and new and break all the rules, so putting more rules on it isn't going to be very effective.
It's entirely possible that I have been ruder than I thought in the presentation of my viewpoints. If that's the case, then removing myself from the community was still a wise decision, as I was being disruptive there.
The experience which really soured the whole thing for me, though, wasn't aimed at me. I was on a feminist blog, where the feminists were all in a froth about an advertisement that was run that they found offensive, and complaining that the small-time liberal 'zine it was run in shouldn't have printed something like that. The editor of the 'zine came and defended his (yes, his) choice to run the ad. Thing is, I didn't find the ad to be that offensive either, and their arguments as to why it was offensive felt kind of reaching to me. The (male!) editor made a lot of sense, and presented his arguments logically, at least until he got infuriated and started just attacking them, but even when he did that, I kind of agreed with him (even if I thought he could have handled it better). (So, he was rude, and he was dogpiled, but he was dogpiled before he was rude. They pushed him to it.)
He was constantly being told that as a man he basically had to just take them on their word because he couldn't possibly understand the female experience, so he wasn't allowed to form his own opinions on the matter. But here I was, a woman, agreeing with him!
I've also talked to a lot of people who said they were afraid to voice any kind of dissenting opinion in these kinds of blogs. And I thought, "Afraid?" Because that's really about the last thing anyone should feel when it comes to expressing their opinion, no matter how potentially offensive their opinion is. (In fairness, some people have also confessed to being intimidated by me, and this is really the last thing I want ever.)
no subject
Maybe at the end of the day it comes down to that it makes sense to me as a negative thing to call someone/something because I do think that being retarded is something of an undesirable state--nothing against those who are already there, more, if you had a choice to stay as you are or become retarded, which would you choose? If you were having a child, and it could be of average to above-average intelligence, or retarded, which would you choose? If that makes me an ableist then...I can live with that.
I can understand and respect if some people don't want to use certain words. Like, I don't generally use "gay" in the pejorative sense, as in, "Dude, this class is gay, let's skip it," but I know people who do, and aren't homophobic or trying to malign gay people, and I'm fine with that. I don't challenge them on their use of the word, because I don't think they're doing any harm.
In general, I don't try to control how other people use words. That isn't how language works. Slang tends to change every few years anyway, and it's offensive more often than not. The very nature of slang is to be fresh and new and break all the rules, so putting more rules on it isn't going to be very effective.
It's entirely possible that I have been ruder than I thought in the presentation of my viewpoints. If that's the case, then removing myself from the community was still a wise decision, as I was being disruptive there.
The experience which really soured the whole thing for me, though, wasn't aimed at me. I was on a feminist blog, where the feminists were all in a froth about an advertisement that was run that they found offensive, and complaining that the small-time liberal 'zine it was run in shouldn't have printed something like that. The editor of the 'zine came and defended his (yes, his) choice to run the ad. Thing is, I didn't find the ad to be that offensive either, and their arguments as to why it was offensive felt kind of reaching to me. The (male!) editor made a lot of sense, and presented his arguments logically, at least until he got infuriated and started just attacking them, but even when he did that, I kind of agreed with him (even if I thought he could have handled it better). (So, he was rude, and he was dogpiled, but he was dogpiled before he was rude. They pushed him to it.)
He was constantly being told that as a man he basically had to just take them on their word because he couldn't possibly understand the female experience, so he wasn't allowed to form his own opinions on the matter. But here I was, a woman, agreeing with him!
I've also talked to a lot of people who said they were afraid to voice any kind of dissenting opinion in these kinds of blogs. And I thought, "Afraid?" Because that's really about the last thing anyone should feel when it comes to expressing their opinion, no matter how potentially offensive their opinion is. (In fairness, some people have also confessed to being intimidated by me, and this is really the last thing I want ever.)