(no subject)
30 Apr 2004 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
salineaFinally answer to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
atpotch's great post about Journals and Diaries.
and wrote this
Rebirth
He felt like a ghost walking an old battlefield. Peaceful wreckage screaming with past turmoil. The blooming flowers and quiet vegetation already covering ruins and bones only setting a bleak contrast with the consummated ashes that were inside him.
Nature's implacable law. Life goes on, we're just not a part of it anymore.
Mild annoyance arised, disturbing him from his contemplation, when he felt the other's presence.
"You have no business with me now", he said without turning back. "The future of earth, everything... it is no interest of mine."
"I know." The One who Chased God's Majesty answered.
"Then why ?" He had no patience anymore for the petty plays of Destiny.
The Kamui went on blabbering, trying to scathe him with sarcastic mentions of flowers and wishes. He waited blankly for him to finish. He didn't really feel like anything could touch him anymore.
Then the Kamui caught his interest.
"But it may be possible for you to grant the Sakurazukamori's wish."
He looked up at the amused expression on the man's face, uncertain if he could accept his words.
The eye... so the Angels' Kamui could see people's wishes, could have known... what was in his heart ?
And it was...
the one thing that he missed,
the one thing that he could still long for anymore.
Therefore he was hooked. Trapped, once more.
"...That eye", the Kamui went on, "No matter how, Sakurazukamori was never too pleased about it. For any person other than himself to leave a scar on you… the Sakurazukamori's wish was for that scar to be erased."
And it was amusing in a way, that he would have wanted to abolish every one if his wishes, every one of his ties that bound him to regrets and expectations. All of them, he would have them deigned.
"Inside this I've put Sakurazukamori's left eye. It was the only thing that I could find at Rainbow Bridge. To use this eye and erase the mark of other man that was Sakurazukamori's wish."
But it was fitting, as well, for him to be claimed in one other way, now that the inverted pentacles on his hands were fading. It was sustaining to have an outer mark of the scars within. Even the cheerful morbidity of it was so much... Seishirou.
"I too will do the same."
He understood then. Another broken piece in the twisted puzzle of their fate.
"To Kamui...?"
"Yes."
And there were a pang of something that wasn't. The hollow trace of feelings that didn't exist anymore in him. The acknowledgement that if he could, he would have felt sorry for these two. But he lacked even that at present.
"What are you going to do ? Accept it? Or throw it away ?"
He moved at once, without thinking, but the Kamui stopped him, as was his role to make people understand the weight of their wishes and consequences of their choices.
"You'll also become the inheritor of the powers of the Sakurazukamori."
He hesitated one instant, then, like the famous knight in the tale hesitated in front of the greatest shame.
One instant, and he could remember his own words in that time a whole age ago when everything was yet simple, and bright, and alive.
"I wish my body could save many people's lives..." He had said, so desperate at the time to please and to help, to give some kind of worth to his existence. He didn't have any such delusions anymore. "I'd like them to continue to live... and prolong my life a bit... In anycase, I can't do much to help others... I'd be happy to save one life, one last time, before being crudely turned into ashes..."
And he could recall how he had been afraid that this decision could upset his grandmother and Hokuto-chan. But Seishirou..
"But I don't think so... In fact, I believe that Hokuto would be proud of your choice..."
He had felt those strong, warm arms embrace him from behind, and it had felt so safe, so right the moment should have lasted forever.
"Those who let their organs be donated, think that they can prolong their lives a little..."
Something he couldn't refuse, couldn't renounce. There was no denying it.
"The victim's family's are given new hope.. In imagining their lost one still lives on, in a sense, in someone else's body..."
And that was a gift so great and so derisive. Not hope, certainly not, but something akin to it. Remembrance kept alive with each passing days, a sacrament of a sort.
" And I would be so proud of you."
His hands reached to grasp the flask and he hold it tightly against his chest.
He would live for him.
That will be the first of a triade of three Subaru vignettes, hopefully I'll finish them soon.
atpotch's great post about Journals and Diaries.and wrote this
Rebirth
He felt like a ghost walking an old battlefield. Peaceful wreckage screaming with past turmoil. The blooming flowers and quiet vegetation already covering ruins and bones only setting a bleak contrast with the consummated ashes that were inside him.
Nature's implacable law. Life goes on, we're just not a part of it anymore.
Mild annoyance arised, disturbing him from his contemplation, when he felt the other's presence.
"You have no business with me now", he said without turning back. "The future of earth, everything... it is no interest of mine."
"I know." The One who Chased God's Majesty answered.
"Then why ?" He had no patience anymore for the petty plays of Destiny.
The Kamui went on blabbering, trying to scathe him with sarcastic mentions of flowers and wishes. He waited blankly for him to finish. He didn't really feel like anything could touch him anymore.
Then the Kamui caught his interest.
"But it may be possible for you to grant the Sakurazukamori's wish."
He looked up at the amused expression on the man's face, uncertain if he could accept his words.
The eye... so the Angels' Kamui could see people's wishes, could have known... what was in his heart ?
And it was...
the one thing that he missed,
the one thing that he could still long for anymore.
Therefore he was hooked. Trapped, once more.
"...That eye", the Kamui went on, "No matter how, Sakurazukamori was never too pleased about it. For any person other than himself to leave a scar on you… the Sakurazukamori's wish was for that scar to be erased."
And it was amusing in a way, that he would have wanted to abolish every one if his wishes, every one of his ties that bound him to regrets and expectations. All of them, he would have them deigned.
"Inside this I've put Sakurazukamori's left eye. It was the only thing that I could find at Rainbow Bridge. To use this eye and erase the mark of other man that was Sakurazukamori's wish."
But it was fitting, as well, for him to be claimed in one other way, now that the inverted pentacles on his hands were fading. It was sustaining to have an outer mark of the scars within. Even the cheerful morbidity of it was so much... Seishirou.
"I too will do the same."
He understood then. Another broken piece in the twisted puzzle of their fate.
"To Kamui...?"
"Yes."
And there were a pang of something that wasn't. The hollow trace of feelings that didn't exist anymore in him. The acknowledgement that if he could, he would have felt sorry for these two. But he lacked even that at present.
"What are you going to do ? Accept it? Or throw it away ?"
He moved at once, without thinking, but the Kamui stopped him, as was his role to make people understand the weight of their wishes and consequences of their choices.
"You'll also become the inheritor of the powers of the Sakurazukamori."
He hesitated one instant, then, like the famous knight in the tale hesitated in front of the greatest shame.
One instant, and he could remember his own words in that time a whole age ago when everything was yet simple, and bright, and alive.
"I wish my body could save many people's lives..." He had said, so desperate at the time to please and to help, to give some kind of worth to his existence. He didn't have any such delusions anymore. "I'd like them to continue to live... and prolong my life a bit... In anycase, I can't do much to help others... I'd be happy to save one life, one last time, before being crudely turned into ashes..."
And he could recall how he had been afraid that this decision could upset his grandmother and Hokuto-chan. But Seishirou..
"But I don't think so... In fact, I believe that Hokuto would be proud of your choice..."
He had felt those strong, warm arms embrace him from behind, and it had felt so safe, so right the moment should have lasted forever.
"Those who let their organs be donated, think that they can prolong their lives a little..."
Something he couldn't refuse, couldn't renounce. There was no denying it.
"The victim's family's are given new hope.. In imagining their lost one still lives on, in a sense, in someone else's body..."
And that was a gift so great and so derisive. Not hope, certainly not, but something akin to it. Remembrance kept alive with each passing days, a sacrament of a sort.
" And I would be so proud of you."
His hands reached to grasp the flask and he hold it tightly against his chest.
He would live for him.
That will be the first of a triade of three Subaru vignettes, hopefully I'll finish them soon.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 30 April 2004 06:21 pm (UTC)