sex as metaphor

[salinea]

So I was reading today a great many posts and essays about writing sex and the nature of slash, and that was reminding me of something I wanted to say about what I liked in fanfics (slashy or not, though always of the transgressive kind) which was non-romantic sex, or sex as metaphor, and which is, in great part, why I love the kind of fanfics and pairings that I love.

By sex without romance, I mean a great deal of stories that explore situations that are sexualized,without there being a couple in the most classic sense of the word,where there may be 'love' by the wide definition of the term but not something that is necessarily romantic love with all the tropes, roles and assumptions that go with it, or when, if there is indeed romantic love, it is associated with feelings supposedly contrary to it - such as hatred.

Antagonistic pairings are popular. In a way, it is a popular trope in and of itself. However, the majority of Antagonistic stories are more likely to be focussed on the star crossed lovers theme, on transforming such a relationship into romance, than into exploring the relationship as hatred, as rivalry, as a power struggle through sexual means - which is more accurately what I mean though borders may be blurry.

Beyond hatesex and hate/love pairings, there are other ships that meet for me that button. Just today bramblyhedge was talking about her love for boss/employee relationship, a relationship where it is also usually considered improper to sexualize. Another obvious case is incestuous pairings - of which I don't have many but I do have some. In some cases (though less often) cross gen may apply, and even friendship sex (though because it's such an obvious fodder for romance in slash fanfics it must be written with the specific purpose of not crossing that boundary at least for one of the two character - and that's how I love me James/Sirius).

My point is that sex is a rather wide spectrum of interacting with people. In a way, we are consciously or unconsciously sexually aware of everyone we meet. It's got little relevance to how many people we actually want to fuck, but it is nonetheless there. Because sex is, as this, an almost universal subtext of all relationship it can be used as the form through which to explore any relationship whatsoever. Which is where I reach the idea of sex as metaphor for the action of being in an intense relationship, even if the relationship isn't by nature romantic.

Sex is handy as such because it's performative. If you click to a non romantic relationship, familial, friendship, enmity etc. and want to explore it, you can build scenarii to make it into a story where it reaches a climax, where the relationship is consumed, yes. However such scenarii can feel incomplete, or too little intense, or overly cumbersome. Fact is we have very few rituals that express the intensity of relationships as strongly as sex does. Nobody doubts that sex expresses something strongly (no matter how casual it may be!) because it takes you, body and mind, to a different place of interacting ... while declaration of eternal friendship lack a certain something.

There are other solutions, still. And actually a lot of these solutions are used by fandom while still through the shippers goggles : such as the saving each others' life trope, hurt/comfort, sacrifice, self sacrifice and killing.

But even with these alternatives, sex is still a favourite of lots of people. It may accompany a story in a wonderful way.

And, this is something I was realizing as I was reading the first links about the writing sex... these are the kind of sex scenes that I like. Not necessarily the non romantic ones (though I do love them in general); but the sex scenes that tell a story, that are an intraseque part of the narrative and where something happens through them. I don't care for PWP - gratuitous sex - but I don't mind a story which is only comprised of sex as long as the sex actually is a story, where something happens through it which leads to a little more than an orgasm. This, I find mightily hot.

Comments

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I defintely agree with you about the role of sex in writing. It's a great way to move bodies in space and make characters interact!

This:

But even with these alternatives, sex is still a favourite of lots of people.

is pretty funny.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

LOL quite. I wonder why people favour sex so much ;)

[summerborn.livejournal.com]

I think I'm the same way for part of this - I like to read about sex that's not based on love. I mean, if they end up together that's cool, and romance is fine, but stories where the sex is something else - tend to be *hotter*. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

yes, I don't really dislike romance - at least not when it fits my own kinks and preferences ^^ - but there's a certain appeal to the unromantic ^^

Thanks for commenting!

[bramblyhedge.livejournal.com]

Oooh, yes, I like what you're saying about sex as metaphor. I've only seen it used as such a very few times in novels (Neil Gaiman springs to mind - his sex scenes often seem to be saying so much more than the act of sex itself). I've NEVER seen it used that way in fanfic (though admittedly I read very little fic these days). It's also a major pitfall to automatically equate sex with love/romance, when it could easily mean something else entirely (i.e. hate! Love/hate. Power games. Etc).

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

It's funny, I feel like the majority of the sex scenes I read are like that (or maybe at least that as well)! ^^

Thanks for the comment ^^

[azure-empress.livejournal.com]

I like your thinking.

It kind of reminds me of the time about a month ago when I woke up sick, and could not fall asleep again. So I spent the night writing notes for slashy fics for a lot of old RPG chars of mine. All with LJ or something similiar in mind.

Result was a few pages of those unintelligble notes that are the results of sleepless musings, with content that made me blush and got shelved in my drawer under 'Nobody Remembers These Chars Anyway - Excuse'

I did however make a few conclusions about my own tastes that echoed yours.

[bramblyhedge.livejournal.com]

That probably only goes to show that the novels I read tend not to have any sex in them, and the fanfic I read is mostly PWP. *lol* ^_^

Thanks for talking about sex in such an interesting way. ^_-

[tamerterra.livejournal.com]

So much word, there! I don't dislike romance!fic, but I definitely find the 'sex for sex sake' approach hotter in fic.

[cordelia_v]

Oh, a great post. I could happily paste in most of it, but will limit myself to this one:

the sex scenes that tell a story, that are an intraseque part of the narrative and where something happens through them.

*nods, and nods again*

This is always what pleases me most about stories: where the sex becomes a vehicle for further character development, or where (if the story spent a lot of time developing a relationship between the main pairing) you get to see how their relationship is expressed through the sex. That's a really hard thing to pull off. But when a writer manages to do that, it makes the story much more emotionally and psychologically interesting.

Which is why I sometimes feel a bit let down when a story that has terrific characterization stops short of the bedroom, and fades to black. In such cases, I've become so involved with the characters that I wanted to see how these people would be and act on the other side of the bedroom door, too!

But I know how daunting it is for some people to write sex. I myself am not that great at it, IMO. I thought the sex scenes in my own Smutmas story could have been cut-and-pasted from many other stories (for that pairing). So, the sex-as-a-vehicle-for-characterization is still something I'm working on, myself. But I am full of admiration for those who can pull it off!

[cosmicdancer.livejournal.com]

I like this post a lot and I just want to say that "exploring [an antagonistic] relationship as hatred, as rivalry, as a power struggle through sexual means" is absolutely one of my favorite things to write and to read. And I would love to see more of it.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

(via metafandom)

Fact is we have very few rituals that express the intensity of relationships as strongly as sex does.

And now I'm thinking of how in movies, the sex scene (or the fade-to-black implied sex, depending on the rating) is used as shorthand for "these characters are a couple now" or, if couplehood doesn't ensue, "there's something intense going on between these characters."

I'm not saying it isn't possible to explore intense family/friendship/enmity/etc. relationships without sex (genfic is possible!), but I can see where you're coming from.

Here via metafandom

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Yes! Great post.

but the sex scenes that tell a story, that are an intraseque part of the narrative and where something happens through them.

I write a lot of stories that are almost entirely about sex, but they're not PWP. My goal in writing sex is always that even if someone doesn't find the sex hot (and often the sex isn't meant to be hot in the first place, though obviously there's always a chance someone may find it to be so), they should be able to still take something away from the story. If the story is a failure because the reader didn't find it hot, it's PWP. But stories about sex can serve other purposes than just getting the reader off, and that's what I'm interested in. Sex is interesting.

[madame-meretrix.livejournal.com]

here via metafandom. thanks for this post. recently i was pondering this question, myself, but you've done a much better job of explaining it! sex does always say something in a story, doesn't it? Even in a PWP, there is a tale that (should be) told. The way two people come together, and the circumstances, are integral to understanding something larger. And what better canvas to use, besides this seemingly most intimate act?

brilliant stuff. am adding to memories. thanks for writing it!