my journey in the lands of video games

[salinea]

runespoor is an enabler. She made me play Tales of Symphonia.

Okay, first she made me play Batten Kaitos, which was also good and also swallowed my life. But TALES OF SYMPHONIA OMG THAT STUPID GAME THOSE STUPID CHARACTERS ZEFOHZFOFHZIEUGREIBYHCFYUIFHEIUR

CUTEST GAME EVER

And by "CUTEST" I mean in the way that CLAMP does cute and I am not speaking of Card Captor Sakura, okay? OKAY.

some reaction shots as I remember them, spoilered:


Me: "human farms.
Runespoor: Yup. It is a dystopia.
Me: BUT IT LOOKS SO CUTE.

Colette, I want to you to take some notes when you give a peep talk to someone and then to apply those advices to yourself, okay? Okay!

Raine, why so violent?

(to Runespoor): wait you thought I was gonna like Lloyd less than Kallas (aka protagonist of Batten Kaitos) what? WHY? He's a good kid. He's... pretty smart too.

(upon meeting Yuan): I like that guy's charadesign. Why is he flirting with Lloyd?

(after the first evening of playing): I like everyone, but I'm not gonna lie, Genis is my favourite so far.

(as Runespoor kept dissing Kratos): awww, I kinda like him. He reminds me of a character from Slayers who's always trying to be serious while everyone is goofing off. He's always facepalming. Also tsundere mentor.

... are they gonna do something lame like have Kratos be Lloyd's dad?

Me: (speaking of SheenaMysterious Assassin: No, really I love her charadesign!
Runespoor: Oh? Is that a new way to flirt: *flirty voice* "Hello, Miss, I like your charadesign" (little did I know)

... I see Colette is trying to recruit the Mysterious Assassin for her harem.

*Sheena joins the party*
Runespoor: OKAY NOW GIVE HER TO ME.
Me: O-okay?
Runespoor: BEST CHARACTER!

*Colette becoming mute* CUTEST GAME EVER

Kratos, what kind of stupid thing are you gonna do?

So are those guys pulling an Akio with all the Chosen each time trying to do something they know they'll never reach?

Soulless Colette meets a dog in Meltokyo.

*whimpering noises*

*noiseless screaming*

*whimpering noises*

CUTEST GAME EVER!!!

Oh, it's that other character in the intro whose charadesign I liked. (+25% on my scale of liking a character eventually btw)

... well that was subtle. -5% on my liking scale.

Runespoor: Okay, now that he joined the party, put him as the character on screen and go talk to a random female npc.

OMG.

OMG. IT WORKS ON OLD LADIES.

CHARACTER USES "SO OVER THE TOP IT REVERSES NEGATIVE POINTS INTO POSITIVE. It is very efficient."

*starts singing* "I'm Gigolo, just a gigolo."

OKay, I let you play, Sheena before; so now, no more kidding around; I'm using him.

(*ends up using Zelos as default character for most of the game; with runespoor playing Sheena meanwhile, except when she was handling Raine (as she was in the beginning).* At some point we ended up roleplaying at them too.)

Oh, look an emotionless girl.

OMG GENIS you're so adorb when you fail at flirting.

*theorises about Sheena being a Magical Girl because she has a magical mascot*

*may or may not be connected to the former, I don't remember: theorises about Zelos being a Sailor Moon fan*

OMG Zelos gave actual genuine good advice to Genis about giving a present to Presea.

*At some random point* You know, if Kratos turns out to be the Pontiff my affection for him will really decrease this time.

Me: Oh look a Persocom!
Me: I did think this game was very CLAMPESQUE.

Runespoor: SQUEES about Mithos' introduction and joining our party and laments about the fact we can't play him.
Me: I think he's suspicious. Very suspicious.
Runespoor: No! Look at him, isn't he adorable? He's Genis boyfriend!
Me: I think he's a bad guy in disguise.
Runespoor: OTP!!!!
Me: I think he looks like Yggdrasil.

Me: OOooh. You ship it because it's canon.
Runespoor: Right? Aren't they adorable?
Me:... did Genis just ask Presea to a threesome with Mithos and him?

Me: Okay! Actually Mithos is a magical creature! Look he's in the skits like Corinne and Noishe.
Runespoor: No, he's Genis' Magical Boyfriend.

Me: So anyway, why were you shipping Botta and Yuan again?
Runespoor: "Lord Botta likes complicated things".
Me: Ooooooooooh.
Me: Well it's not like they said "Lord Botta likes fabulous things" either.

*Mithos rescues the party with Aska.* Oh, he's Genis' Magical Boyfriend. I see. -_-

Me: Is Presea hitting on Colette? OKay then! Colette's harem widens, mwahahaha.

Runespoor: So did you decide on which characters to develop the relationship with?
Me: Well, I guess I'm fine with Colette. I mean, I wouldn't want to leave Colette alone anyway, so since she wants Lloyd.
Runespoor: Yeah, but you can pick between the three top characters when you make the final choice so we can save and see the scenes in Flanoir for the others.
Me: Okay. Well, Genis is pretty high already and I'm fine with that. Otherwise... we did pick a lot of choices negative for Zelos...?
Runespoor: Yes, but his scene is very good. Don't worry, we'll manage. We'll spam with cooking if we have too since we found out it works too.
Me: Okay if you say so.

*puts Colette, Lloyd, Zelos and Sheena in the same party for a short while*
Runespoor: Double date party!
Me: Double date in which Lloyd amorously keeps cooking Bouillabaisse in order to attraction Zelos' affection?
Runespoor: OT4?

*at some point, not sure which* Yuan's just cranky because Zelos is more fabulous than him.

And we broke the world. Again. Did try to warn the characters about trying to do stuff to manalinks that caused earthquakes without being sure about what it would do BUT DID THEY LISTEN TO ME.

Runespoor: Well to be fair, the guy who was supposed to know about such things, Yuan, told them it was okay.
Me: Yeah, but Kratos warned them against it.
Runespoor: Yeah but it was Kratos.
Me: Point.

Runespoor: OKay, now, go to Palmacosta.
Me: what.
Runespoor: We destroyed it ♥ ♥
Me: OMG. BUT WHERE AM I GONNA BUY TUNA TO RAISE ZELOS' AFFECTION NOW?

also: CUTEST GAME EVER!!!!

A WILD YUAN APPEARS!

Aww, Mithos bb, no.

why so yandere, Mithos?

Mithos, give Dazzler back her costume, 'kay?

So he's not pulling an Akio, he's, like, the anti-Akio.

Runespoor: SO ARENT OUR VILLAINS GOOD?
Me: Yup.
Runespoor: OTP?
Me: OTP.

Runespoor (as Genis): My first boyfriend turned into the Cruxis leader.
Me (as Zelos): That's rough buddy.

Tower of Mana:
Zelos: and I was spying on you for the Renegade...
Me: well, duh.
Zelos: ... and the Cruxis...
Me: Them too? Okay.
Runespoor: Not just a Double Agent! But a Triple Agent!! Yuan truly is outmatched.
Me: Duh.
Me: Shit I have a train to catch to go to sleep.
Runespoor: So what did you think?
Me: We saw him being suspicious in a Renegade's base that time.
Me: Also he told them he was there to "keep an eye" on them when he joined the party.
Me: Anyway I don't know what Zelos is scheming but OF COURSE it is to the party's benefit and he'll end up joining them again.
Me: I mean, duh. Also what we saw him scheme in Flanoir we haven't seen the outcome of that yet.
Runespoor: You're so adorb.
Me: OH YEAH? WAS I ADORB WHEN I SAID MITHOS WAS SUSPICIOUS? WAS I ADORB WHEN I SAID HE LOOKED LIKE A BAD GUY IN DISGUISE?
*runs catch train*

*the morrow*
Me: SO I SPENT A VERY RESTFUL NIGHT AS YOU CAN IMAGINE ALSO I STARTED FREAKING OUT ABOUT ZELOS NOT JOINING THE PARTY BACK BECAUSE OF MAYBE SPOILING MYSELF A BIT WITH SOMETHING FROM THE TECH FAQS

Me: So is it the time when all the sailors sacrifice themselves so Sailor Moon can go ahead? (it was. *remains stoic except when Genis because Genis, bb. Also Raine.*)

Zelos rescued the other characters from their trap.
Me: Duh.
Runespoor: QUADRUPLE AGENT.
Me: I think they still call them triple agent? There's still three parties.
Runespoor: But he was betraying them for the Renegade who he was betraying for the Cruxis who he betrayed for the PCs.
Me: Still three sides?

Runespoor: OKAY! So now we can watch the scenes with Genis and Zelos and ~Kratos~ from Flanoir.
Me: OMG Zelos' backstory.
Me: OMG Kratos' backstory.
Runespoor: Now to the Tower of Mana!
Runespoor: SEE THIS IS WHY YOUR SO ADORB ThERE IS A LEG IN THE TROUSER OF TIME WHERE THIS HAPPENS AND SUICIDE BY FRIENDS LOL.
Me: It is a dark au. It is not canon. It does not count.
Runespoor: It's a possibility.
ME: ONE OUT OF 8 IT IS A DARK AU
Runespoor: but it's what he started out to do ♥
ME: lalalalala cant hear you. (it's a good dark au tho).
Runespoor: And if you got that road Kratos does join your party back.
Me: Oh, okay, so that was what i was freaking out about.

Mithos, bb. Why so yandere?

Runespoor: And if the character you have the most affection for is Genis, he says "Genis, your body will do." and if it's Raine it's "Genis, your sister will do."
Me: *whimpers*


Yuan, with a rare earnest, wide eyed expression on his face: "you want him to be doomed to a life of endless damnation" (without commentary, but repeated often).

OMG SELES

OMG SELES KICKED MY ASS

*SQUEE*

...well that was not humiliating at all.

Me: I start to see why you crack ship Seles with Genis.
Runespoor: Right!
Me: Imagine the bad end in which they join together and take over the world; also with help from Zelos and Raine.
Runespoor: Truly a fearsome foursome. And Sheena leads the rebellion against them. obviously Lloyd and Colette are dead in this badend.
Me: At first Zelos would try to have Sheena stay away from this, but then she would start to realise what happens and...
Runespoor: He'd end up the Yuan of his generation?
Me: Yeah. But complicated because Seles.
Runespoor: GOOD BAD END!
Me: And Genis might have better luck with a threesome off with Mithos in this configuration.
Runespoor: Of course!

*after many harrowing Coliseum fights*

... and in the end it is Raine that beat Seles? -_-;

Raine.

Runespoor: In Tales, there is no Chuck Norris, so they tell facts about Raine.
Me: "I heard one day, someone tried to blow up some ruins to threaten her, so she set off the bomb herself and then destroyed it before it could do anything!

*wins Cook title for Regal that gives him an alternate outfit. Puts Regal in said outfit until the end of the game.*
Me: Still less silly than his usual outfit.

All right so we did all the sidequests and won all the Coliseum titles+weapons for everyone - except Regal but who cares about that - we can play the ending now.

Game: stops randomly in the middle of the animated sequence of the ending with an error message.
Game: LULZ. PSYCHE!
Me: *starts laughing hysterically*

(we did the ending again. It worked this time.)

Me: I did think Martel looked like Colette.
Runespoor: Colette looks more like Mithos. Martel's hair is green.
Me: Martel's hair was green? what!

Runespoor: ... and Zelos is still politicking.
Me: well, duh.

Runespoor: Let's watch some z-skit that we missed!

*early z-skit with Kratos dissing Colette's cookin* Runespoor: YOUR RIGHT TO SPEECH HAS BEEN REVOQUED.

*early z-skit with Kratos saying his he failed as a teacher before*: Both: OMG.
Me: That awful moment when we think "Kratos, bb."
Runespoor: Yeah :(

*rewatching z-skit with Mithos* And the Kendama hits Zelos totally accidentally on purpose.
Me: OMG he's not even the anti-Akio, now he's being Anthy.
Runespoor: I don't think this crossover works as well as the EVA one.
Me: True, the EVA crossover works a bit too well.


IN CONCLUSION: OMG THAT STUPID GAME THOSE STUPID CHARACTERS CUTEST GAME CVNDFUHEZIRFHIHDFEUIHDUSIHD