![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
22 Apr 2004 09:03 pmThe teacher for the class I couldn't work on the paper was very nice today. He wants me to give anything, up until to the finals. Okay. I don't even feel peculiarly relieved, but it's nice.
I have no idea how I'm going to face all that work. Gah.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rahael made a very intesrresting post about when people expose their weakness we tend to bash them even more, we feel embarrassed and we don't want to feel that way.
So true.
Not always of course but yeah. There's so much fear in people, like arethusa said, so much fear to be the next one so we try to ignore what the others feel so we won't get dragged down like they are. And the only way to avoid it is to become a one of the teaser yourself. Victim or boureau, no middle way, there's this place, this time, that I remember in school and probably exists in other ways that teaches us that. To be ashamed of being a victim. It's there in the all the people who ask you, hey, what the hell have you done to be treating like that ? Why, why, why. They ask you. Like you're the one responsible for what happens to you.
And yet, I dislike hearing talk of power and weakness, strength and frailty about that kind of things. You don't have to be weak to be a victim. Not only weak persons are victims. Sometimes they are very strong persons. Sometimes it's the strongest persons who are made victims BECAUSE people cannot stand their strenght. They have to try to bring them down to their level. Being strong is not beating other people up so you won't be one of the victims. Being strong, sometimes, is not even reciprocating when others try to beat you up. Being strong is being faithful to what you are, to who you are, to what you want to be. Not matter what others try to do to bully you.
But the thing about embarrassement when you talk of when you were in a position of weakness, yeah, so true. I guess that's why people on the ATP board used to get upset when Rahael starts talking about her past and her mother. They feel embarrassed. Maybe they wonder... how does she dare talking about that kind of things so openly, isn't she ashamed ?
That shame, God, how I hate it. The one society try to teaches us to feel for when we are in a position of weakness.
I wasn't weak. I was oversensitive, but that's not a weakness. I was crying, but that's not a weakness. I was myself, but that's not a weakness. I refused to take part in some arguments, but that's not a weakness.
It's not when i started to reciprocate to what they did to me, it's not when I tried to bully others, that things got better for me.
It's when i refused to be ashamed of myself, when I stropped blaming myself and trying to find the "cure" for how people saw me. When I thought, I'll be who I am, and its not my fault people treat me that way, it's their problem, not mine.
That's when it started getting better for me.
I have no idea how I'm going to face all that work. Gah.
rahael made a very intesrresting post about when people expose their weakness we tend to bash them even more, we feel embarrassed and we don't want to feel that way.So true.
Not always of course but yeah. There's so much fear in people, like arethusa said, so much fear to be the next one so we try to ignore what the others feel so we won't get dragged down like they are. And the only way to avoid it is to become a one of the teaser yourself. Victim or boureau, no middle way, there's this place, this time, that I remember in school and probably exists in other ways that teaches us that. To be ashamed of being a victim. It's there in the all the people who ask you, hey, what the hell have you done to be treating like that ? Why, why, why. They ask you. Like you're the one responsible for what happens to you.
And yet, I dislike hearing talk of power and weakness, strength and frailty about that kind of things. You don't have to be weak to be a victim. Not only weak persons are victims. Sometimes they are very strong persons. Sometimes it's the strongest persons who are made victims BECAUSE people cannot stand their strenght. They have to try to bring them down to their level. Being strong is not beating other people up so you won't be one of the victims. Being strong, sometimes, is not even reciprocating when others try to beat you up. Being strong is being faithful to what you are, to who you are, to what you want to be. Not matter what others try to do to bully you.
But the thing about embarrassement when you talk of when you were in a position of weakness, yeah, so true. I guess that's why people on the ATP board used to get upset when Rahael starts talking about her past and her mother. They feel embarrassed. Maybe they wonder... how does she dare talking about that kind of things so openly, isn't she ashamed ?
That shame, God, how I hate it. The one society try to teaches us to feel for when we are in a position of weakness.
I wasn't weak. I was oversensitive, but that's not a weakness. I was crying, but that's not a weakness. I was myself, but that's not a weakness. I refused to take part in some arguments, but that's not a weakness.
It's not when i started to reciprocate to what they did to me, it's not when I tried to bully others, that things got better for me.
It's when i refused to be ashamed of myself, when I stropped blaming myself and trying to find the "cure" for how people saw me. When I thought, I'll be who I am, and its not my fault people treat me that way, it's their problem, not mine.
That's when it started getting better for me.