is there a peoplephobia thing?

[salinea]

I hate people.

No, not you. I mean, having people around me, all the time talking, shouting, demanding attention, touching me (eewww). It's funny the more I grow up the more I become introverted. The more I want to be left alone in my corner doing my quiet, private thing thank you very much.

Okay, this is worse because of the living with my parents thing of presently (and right now my sister's around so one can barely hears oneself think), but it's broader than that. Even with friends I can't bear it for too very long (well not more than one big day, say). Sometimes it worries me.

Comments

[shelled-avenger.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're a somewhat territorial person (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just a natural thing, and something that varies from person to person). And it sounds like maybe some of the people you routinely associate with don't respect your personal space, or at least assume that yours is the same size as theirs. Territoriality will increase two-fold when you're an adult-ish person surrounded by immediate family, because they can be perceived as a threat to your own space (and by extension your independence.)

I can sympathize because I have the same problem to some extent. I love talking to random people online, but tend to get worn out when socializing with a group (or even on other person) for hours--even when I like the folks I'm with. I think that the effort of maintaining a social bond while simultaneously defending your own physical, mental, and emotional space takes effort, and like all efforts it becomes exhausting after a while. So this isn't your fault, and probably not even your friends' faults, but it is something you'll want to be aware of so that you don't end up becoming irritable at them.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

That does sound like me! Space, having my own space, respecting my boundaries has always been something that mattered a lot to me. Can't stand if my door's open for example.

I have a few friends who have different handling of boundaries yes ^^ I have to repeatedly explain to them that I don't enjoy it x_x; It does feel like a constant effort and something draining (and stressful)

wow, I'm glad I'm not alone there ♥

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I think everyone is somewhat private and somewhat social. The problem is when you are asked to be more of one or the other than is comfortable. That will push you to yearn to be alone (or yearn to be with people.) If you are getting the right mix of stimulation and downtime, you won't feel like a misfit. (What's the opposite of a misfit, a fit?)

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

True. Trouble is you're not always in control of it.

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

It totally makes sense to me. Unlike a lot of people online, I'm actually fairly extroverted. I like people. I talk to strangers all the time.

And yet? I still have times (and not infrequently) when I want to send everybody to their rooms so I can be completely alone. It's one of the reasons I love the net so much: I can hang out with people all day long and still be alone. :)

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly extroverted too. I love talking to strangers and I've never felt anxious about being in a gathering with lots of people I don't know.

But yeah, remove my time alone and I'll break down and scream.

So true about the net XDD

[novin-ha.livejournal.com]

I'm actually pretty social, most of the time - but only with MY people. Otherwise I'm quite likely to get upset by being surrounded and I have those moments when the thought of having to leave my room and have people arround is just... disgusting.

Also, I tend to have crises after living with roommates for more than two months...

But I wouldn't want to live alone once I finish studies. I'd much rather to have my own room, but share a flat with people, preferably my own friends.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Funny enough the whole "my people" thing doesn't work for me. But otherwise I'm the same ^^

[solesakuma]

I'm strange: while I really really like to be alone and social situations worn me out. (Having more than four friends at home, for example, tends to annoy me), I totally disregard personal space. I'm extremely touchy-feely but... for like ten minutes, then I leave.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

lol

I guess there's a lot of possible variations on that theme?

I think touch can be a very cultural thing. Like Americans think of hugs as normal, and they make me go O_O;

[solesakuma]

I guess. XP

Oh, Argentina is very very veeeeeeeeeery touchy-feely. For me, Americans [as in USAians] are very cold.

[icemannorth.livejournal.com]

Or greetings with a kiss on the cheek that makes Irish people go O_O;

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Quite.

[matitablu.livejournal.com]

I think I know where you're coming from, perhaps because in the last few days I'm getting very antisocial... perhaps it's just because I'm tired, but I sort of have a limited attention (and patience) span.

OTOH, while I generally consider myself an introverted, I also found it relatively easy to share A LOT of personal space in the last two years I've spent in another city, with two rommates - something I never experienced before. I don't know - we got along and did a lot of stuff together, something that I would never have thought myself able to do. Somehow, now that I'm back home with the family, I think I'm experiencing some sort of regression in that respect... The solution would be going away again, but to put it bluntly, who has the money? Alas!

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Yeah being with family is very different from being with friends/peers.

[ariss-tenoh.livejournal.com]

I'd elaborate but this is a public entry, and it's very late here, but suffice to say that it isn't as rare as you think.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

^_^ *hugs*

[twhitesakura.livejournal.com]

I don't think you need to worry too much about it. Sometimes we just need time alone and since you don't get it at work or (presently) at home, it's understandable to be irritated.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

you're right. It is worse now because I have no real place to retreat to ^^

[werthead.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Interesting. When I was young - up to about 19 or so - I wasn't very interested in going to the pub with my mates or anything like that. Then I became much more social and enjoyed meeting new people and doing all of that stuff. The last year or two, I've suddenly found myself preferring to have a quieter life all of a sudden. Not entirely sure how these things work, but I think it's just cycles that go round.

I do miss my last house. My landlord and housemates became really good friends and we had a good policy that if we felt like relaxing by ourselves we'd just leave the door closed and no-one else would disturb us, and if we felt like talking to people we'd leave our doors open. It worked really well.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I don't mind going out with people (although less often in a pub because few of my friends drink ^^), it's more the fact of having people around during "downtime" that stresses me out. But your talk of cycle makes sense.

Good roomates sound like something quite precious.

[werthead.livejournal.com]

Which is one of the reasons I'm (hopefully) moving back there in May :-)

I also think energy levels have something to do with it as well. Once you get in and put your feet up to watch something or go online and you go into 'relaxation mode', having to deal with people in your space distracting you is quite difficult.

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

I believe social tolerance is somewhat mutable. I go through periods of desiring isolation. I also am resistant to hanging out with people until I am right there in the thick of it, then I have a great time for about 4 hours, and then I simply have to go home for quiet time. Not isolation, just quiet.

:)

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Yeah I guess it is all about a cycle.

[metzhead.livejournal.com]

I don't *hate* having people around, but sometimes I need alone time.

my ex wife never understood that, hence why she bears the prefix "ex".

where I"m at now is nice. one bedroom apartment with just me and two cats who come when I call.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

hahaha, yeah sometimes I did have trouble getting the point across to SOs ^^

just one & two cats sound very very nice indeed ♥ I miss my appartment!

[after-nightfall.livejournal.com]

I don't think attachment to your personal space signals peoplephobia. It just means you have some inconsiderate people around. (But then, I pretty much consider my personal space sacred, and I have no compunctions about physically pushing away people who get too touchy-feely if me stepping away doesn't work.)

Is there anyone who never prefers some quiet by themselves relaxation time? I think most of us tend to need the time to "recharge our batteries".

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

personal space should totally be sacred, yes!

I typically scream and start kicking when people get too touchy-feely. It's an instinctive response :p

[melusinahp.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Some people get energised by socialising, other's drained. I'm of the latter group. Even when I'm relaxed and having fun at a party, I have to take little breaks to regroup myself.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's just your personality type. :)

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

True, true. The funny thing is, I used to think I was extravert because I have like 0% of shyness XD

[steph-annie2000.livejournal.com]

This has totally nothing to do with your post but when I was scrolling through my list I thought that said "Is this a paedophile thing" and then when I was reading the post I was literally trying to figure out the connection between the title and the post for like ten minutes before I realised I read it wrong.

and on a commiserating note... I know how you feel. I love my family and friends to death, but if I had to live with them for one more moment before I moved here, I was sure someone was going to get hurt. I am the sort of person who needs a lot! A LOT! of space. I need a week of alone time to recover from a day out with friends... even if I had a great time... especially if I had a great time... it's tough when the people in your life refuse to understand that.

♥
Stuff

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! nah, I don't think it's a paedophile thing X'D

Yes! Space! Definitly! ♥