Offenses

[salinea]

Today I learned of the acronym : "FO, DO" which is used to mean "if you Feel Offended? then you Deserve Offense".

Now I want to kill someone.

Comments

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

Wow that's. Boggling.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

tl, dr is kinda cute. This is. Not. Cute.

[indigestible.livejournal.com]

Just, like, in general? Anytime you're offended, you deserve offense? That's a . . . unique world view. I mean, I can imagine a situation in which it's an appropriate response (e.g., if you're offended by two girls holding hands on the subway, then yeah, I think you deserve offense), but as a general rule? Mind boggling.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I'm going to assume that when it was forged, it was more for specific cases. You give a good example, but since the case I've just seen it used is when someone was thinking that using the word "Wrench Wench" as a trope title is offensive... well you can discuss it, it's not clear cut, but saying that finding this sexist means you deserve offence is way out of bound.

[indigestible.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I completely agree. That's a grossly inappropriate response, one which I, personally, find way more offensive that "Wrench Wench" itself.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

I often find people's answer when called on anything being offensive way more offensive than whatever they said initially in general. People need to learn how to react graciously about that stuff, it's not that difficult.

[rebbe]

...

Why. Are the Internets. So stupid sometimes DDDDDDD:

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!!! argh, smash

[harumi.livejournal.com]

On the internet getting offended easily usually tempts people to write more offensive stuff though, not because they really think it, but because it gets all the offended people riled up and the ensuing drama is often pretty funny (at least from the troll's POV).

I know I kinda accidentally/purposefully did this to you a few days ago (is feeling troll's remorse, though the post in question was more of a frustrated FUCK THE STUPID WORLD LET IT GO TO HELL I DON'T CARE ANYMORE post) and the thing that really bemused and amused me was that you were taking a post that I wasn't initially being serious about so seriously.

Probably the most difficult thing about the internet is knowing if people mean what actually say. There are quite a few nutters that do, and on the flip side, just as many who don't.

FO, DO is probably one of those things. Personally for me tl;dr is pretty offensive too. It's just been around longer on the internet.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

On the internet being a troll is generally considered as offensive and aggressive behaviour. Most people - including myself - react to this by ignoring trolls. We only interact with people who we think we can take at face value, who actually engage in real communication when in discussion, or who are obvious enough when they are sarcastic. I give people the benefit of the doubts, I respect and talk with a lot of people whom I also disagree with, as long as they don't engage in trollish behaviour - I certainly don't respect anyone who uses FO, DO as a rule of life. I don't expect trolls on my flist. I certainly don't expect to be mocked from people I consider as friends.

I agree that there are many times when miscommunication occurs because of the lack of tone or of shared cultural cues. However when that kinds of thing happens I would expect a friend to tell me so, and not mock me from afar, which is what you "lol I trolled my flist" post gave me the impression.

[harumi.livejournal.com]

Well then, we'll agree to disagree. Personally, I find that trolls serve a very useful purpose, one of those being that they're pretty good at revealing your weaknesses.

Even before I got sucked in I had always loved trolls simply because engaging them was fun. Eventually we realize that neither of us really mean what we say and being able to say anything we want to each other is very relaxing.

Yes, I was mocking you. Yes, I thought your overreaction to what was obviously a ridiculous post (did you really think I actually felt that way? Because god damn) was pretty amazing. And you deserved to be mocked for it. Another friend responded with a self-righteous "Well I've got friends who can't escape so you're mean!" reaction which was just as stupid. As far as I'm concerned she deserved just as much trolling.

I do not know what you read in my previous entries to make you believe that I am apathetic enough to wish the world to burn when the downfall of America pretty much means everybody (including me) will suffer for it.

There's a reason why the mocking sentence THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS BUSINESS exists.

Also lol at most people ignoring trolls. If what you said was actually true then there would be no trolls on the internet. The problem with most people is the exact opposite.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

Then what the fuck are you still doing on my LJ?

[harumi.livejournal.com]

Just to let you know that for all your high and mighty offended persona you offended me just as much, and your choice to argue with me indicated a view of my personality that was not only deeply hurtful, but horrifying.

Unlike you though, I don't pretend to be some decent, moral human being and I even thought, at first, that you were playing along. I now see that even before I trolled you that you thought I was an awful human being in the first place.

The question is, why the fuck did you ever friend me?

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to have offended you. No, I don't know you very well, or I wouldn't have been blind sighted by all this, including your love of trolls.

I can't remember why I friended you.

[harumi.livejournal.com]

All right. I'm sorry that I trolled you.

My love of trolls is actually a very recent thing. I spend a lot of time on a board that could only be described as trolling headquarters. I knew these people from way back when they weren't trolls, so I also had the knowledge that these were in fact very intelligent people who were sensitive and thoughtful. They may tell people to go kill themselves but create a support thread and these people will do their best to comfort you, up to and including wiring money to a completely stranger on the internet.

I learned that there were many things that offended and hurt me, but instead of leaving I realized that I didn't have to be hurt or offended. Why was I getting hurt by strangers on the internet?

And that was pretty much the turning point for me.

Because a troll will be offensive, but he/she most likely won't mean what he says, and at the end of the day he's only putting out lures. I learned that what was truly offensive were the people who believe themselves to be better than trolls while saying extremely OFFENSIVE things all the while thinking that they're morally superior.

A troll at least, has the luxury of saying that he doesn't mean a thing he says.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I have no love for self righteous people who say offensive things. The fact that those people are jerks don't make trolls any better, IMHO. The fact that trolls can be darlings to some people don't mean that they can't be hurtful (although hurtful isn't what I call trolls usually, they're just noisy and immature and not worth much minding. Occupationally they're funny but not very often).

Trolls can upset people because people make fools of themselves on their account, and nobody likes looking like a fool. You did make me feel like a fool, and I didn't like it, but I was hurt more by the feeling of betrayal.

You called me high and mighty, do you really think that's me?

[harumi.livejournal.com]

Precisely: nobody likes to look like a fool, but that's why trolls exist, to showcase what makes you look foolish and you learn from it.

The feeling of betrayal was pretty mutual in my opinion, but I don't care about that now. I forgive pretty quickly, provided that dialogue is available.

That's what you were coming off as. No, I don't think that's what you really are, but it was coming a bit close.

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

Wow, be a self-righteous asshole in just four letters! I'm impressed, almost.

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

lol, isn't it?